The holiday season is often viewed as a time of joy, but for those grieving, this season can feel like a glaring reminder of what – or who – is missing. Familiar decorations, festive music, and an empty seat at the table can intensify feelings of loss. It’s completely natural to experience a mix of sadness, frustration, and even occasional relief. Instead of pushing these feelings aside, allow yourself to face them. Sitting with these feelings doesn’t mean you are “stuck” or failing to move forward; it means you are giving yourself permission to feel deeply. It’s in this vulnerability that healing happens. Acknowledge your grief is not a setback; it’s a way to honor your loved one and the beautiful connection you shared.
What can help during this time? Be prepared.
With a plan in place, you can ease anxiety and regain a sense of control. The holidays may feel different, but anticipating how to handle significant days, be it holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries, can make them less overwhelming. Consider setting up simple ways to remember your loved one or decide in advance how you want to spend the day, knowing it’s perfectly acceptable to change those plans if needed.
Reimagining traditions can also be a source of comfort while keeping your loved one’s memory alive. You might include their favorite holiday dish, light a candle in their honor, or create new rituals that celebrate their life. These small gestures remind us that grief and joy can coexist, creating space for reflection during the holidays. Embracing these moments can transform the season into something meaningful, even if it looks different from years past.
Remember to prioritize self-care, listening to what your body and mind need. Whether that means having a quiet evening at home, skipping a party, or taking time to rest, give yourself permission to say “no.” Reach out to supportive friends and family who understand the depth of your loss, and don’t hesitate to set boundaries as necessary. Grief is a deeply personal journey, so take it one step at a time. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and it’s important to go at your own pace. If you find you need additional support, grief counseling can offer a safe environment to process emotions and find personalized coping strategies.
Brigitt de Villiers, BSW, RSW
Clinical Counsellor | Registered Social Worker